December 29, 2009

And Then She Left...

One more bright sunny morning, one more airport, one old city, one city that I have loved even before I had ever set foot on it, one city that grows on me every time I visit but somehow today there’s this vast emptiness within with a strange sense of peace and happiness. She left us behind about 4 hours back to start a new life and as I watched her go I realized how important and integral a part Red was to our lives.

There was no way on Earth I would have missed Red’s marriage. But this marriage was even more important to me as this was a test of my Friendship has no gender theory. And what ever happened over the last 48 hours made me realize the need to modify my theory.

I have been to many a friend’s wedding. The flight tickets to all these weddings alone would have been able to pay for my long awaited final switch to a DSLR. And whether it was A getting married, or V tying the knot, it didn’t matter much. After all, Bros would remain Bros; a little domesticated perhaps post marriage but not changed extensively. Women also did not change much; expect perhaps coming to meet me in a Saree when they intend to introduce their husbands to samples like me. After all, Watsa did tell me nothing much really changes. And I believe Watsa.

Red was however the first Lady Bro to get married. Or at least the one, where I was mature enough to understand what was happening. All through her life she has been this sweetheart loved by everyone who had the opportunity to meet her, even if it was for 90 seconds. Every morning as Gtalk signs in; she is the first one to wish a Good morning. During every bad day at office I am sure Red might call out of the blue and things will be better again. Red has this amazing capacity to cheer anyone up.

Few months back Red called to tell me about this guy in the US. She said she kinda liked him and I was ecstatic. Red was about to start a new journey. When I realized that she was beginning to really like our gentleman, I fervently began to wish that this should work out, for Red’s sake.

And then it was decided. On Boxing Day, 2009, she would finally cross over. Rain, Hail, Fire came pouring through the heavens but I knew I would be there. Perhaps the rationale behind Telengana was rational but a bandh would not stop me from being there when Red took her first step towards her new life.

I saw her for the first time as she was putting on Mehendi for the Sangeet. And from nowhere it hit me. Red was going off to the US. She would no longer remain the Red we all knew. And it was just not Red. Within the next couple of years, everyone would move on. Our lives were changing and that too very fast. For one of those few moments in my life that I am not proud of, I became selfish. I wished things remained the same. Red remains Red, I had just come to say hi and take a non existent break from work and soon I will be back to my desk with nothing changed. I can handle every change in my project networks, I can handle changes in product formulations, communication themes, everything but perhaps not this.

Red was blushing. She looked the perfect Indian Bride – beautiful, resplendent, shy and so alien. It has been over eight years and still she looked a different person. Someone I vaguely remembered from times of old. But Red looked happy. She was literally glowing. And that again changed everything. I began to see the pattern. Friendship is gender neutral but their evolution is not. The evolution of friendship post marriage between the 2 genders requires a lot more effort. I can’t perhaps right now sneak up to Red from behind, give her a slap on the back and shout, “Machhaaaa What’s up?” (Perhaps I should not do that to A as well!!! His wife is a dear but perhaps does not like a Sunny Deol type 12 kilo ka haath hitting her hubby. Should definitely ask her next time)

Swets and Set waited with me. We watched her leave. We, who perhaps were closest to her over all these last few years, will now need to rebuild our relationship. Maybe nothing will change. Maybe because Red is so awesome, she will never let us believe that she’s ever gone. But as of today, one of my best friends starts her journey towards a great life ahead.

Thus ended my post on the flight. But I decided to wait. And it did me good. Russian Princess gave me the slogan, “telecom internet zindabad” while ‘sunfriend’ checked out if I was coming for her marriage. That seems impossible as of today but I think I will be surviving missing the marriage as thankfully she’ll be in India.

Anyway as I logged in today, her gtalk showed offline. And it was ok.


Kavitha. said...


Ketan said...

I felt very sorry reading this.

It's so easy to remain child-like and keep on enjoying life. I don't know what is it over time, that makes people forget this.

Very poignantly written!


Meow said...

few months or might be one year from now, I might end up writing a post like this...ditto.. but full of sowmiya style :P

the pain is put beautiful and in an elegant way :)

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

Thanks Kavitha :)

Dear Ketan, Thanks. looked at your writing. Great stuff

Thanks Sowmya :) Will wait for it

Sandeep said...


Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@ Sandeep - bugger