Timelines

May is going to be an interesting month this year. Quite a few milestones are coming my way. I will complete 5 years working with SNDU. If you have forgotten I work with this chota sa nanha sa company called Sabun Nakhun and Datun Unlimited. We sell soaps, nail polish and tooth brushes. When I started out, this was a milestone we never even thought would come along. And the fact remains that still on Monday mornings, I look forward to going to work and sell some more soaps or soups, whatever the case might be.

There are distinct changes in behaviour that have crept in over the last few years. Brand preferences and dislikes are stronger than ever. The World of Brands seems more and more like an “Us and Them” situation. Imagine what wouldn’t you give to know if you truly are a Nikon loyalist or is it you truly are a canon buff but have been coaxed into the Nikon fold. “us and them” Always :)

Today in the super market I went all around to find a bottle of ketchup that I love. It had to be that one and nothing else would make the omelette taste as good and I made her wait. And you don’t dare do that when we are already getting late.The more I see around me, the more I realize how Brands become a part of our daily inertia and if are not in the consideration set, or in the subconscious, then you are not in the shopping basket. Sigh.

Coming back to the second milestone, I complete 9 months in a new city outside India. 9 months is an important time frame. It’s the time required for a new birth. And it seems the same for me. Singapore is no longer a new city. Singapore has helped me blend in a lot easier than I thought possible. But I miss the simple joys of life. Most importantly my second source of income has dried down significantly. Let me explain.

In Mumbai, we used to get 3 newspapers, TOI, Mumbai Mirror and Eco Times. Now whether we read them or not, at the end of the month there were always newspapers which needed to be sold. Add to that the ketchup bottles and other paraphernalia that typically gets collected in a house. Now we always had our “kabadiwala” come at a specified date with the gossip about our more famous neighbours and we would know the rates a famous bollywood actress’ gatekeeper charged for the newspapers. So by selling them the stuff, not only would I earn about Rs. 100 every month but also get the latest news even before it appeared on Page 3. And the joy of buying veggies that day with the 100 bucks? Priceless.

But in The First World Nation of Singapore, there is no Kabadiwala and there is no additional income and there’s no gossip.

And there’s 100 days! Last known it was this awesome thriller where Jackie Shroff was the villain who was actually not a true blue villain (In pre Darr days, before SRK changed the game, we never had anti heroes) and Madhuri had supernatural powers and there was Moon Moon Sen in what could have been the equivalent of Hitchcock’s psycho’s famous death scene. However, my 100 days are happy ones. Of having someone to come back to, of looking forward to peeling potatoes and pumpkins, of buying soupy noodles through people coming in from India, of buying more apples than wafers while shopping for groceries and actually learning to be more responsible.

Phew! May is a tough one :)

Adding Up

A now forgotten letter published in all major Indian newspaper spoke of riding a tiger without knowing how to get off it. The entire nation was shocked. But few realized that we all do it in our day to day lives. Taking on commitments that ensure we run and run and run. A recent confectionary advertisement actually realizes this – stopping by to smell the flower on the side of the road; that’s what you forget when you ride the tiger. To sit under the shades of a tree and watch life pass by – that’s a luxury few of us have anymore.

Last few weeks have been different. Probably the process of growing up is finally trying to start amidst strong resistance. Whatever it is, the churn is telling and the worse affected by it is the boy who was always happy, no matter what life dealt him.

There are two ways you can remember the old days. You can revel in its glory or you can let it be sweet memories and move on. My life is made of memories, like everyone else’s. However, what I realize is that our brain filters out the images that we do not want to remember always invariably making the past seem romantic. That’s where my hyper active brain creates problems. It loves to remember images and memories as they were to savour the pain and love, suffering and exhilaration, just as they were all those years ago.

The past has a strange way of mixing and messing up the present. Over the last one week I have met men and women from my past and what I realize that every one of us remembers incidents that are extremely trivial to the world around us. We remember the debates on tram cars in Calcutta, we remember an article accepted at the cost of a sketch and we remember a broken promise forgotten unwept.

There have been meetings with people who could have been friends had we known each other better, there have been meetings where old friendships have asked for their cheques to be cashed, there have been moments when the world has come crashing down. And all these incidents have taken their toll on the smile. The worry lines make their appearance beneath the eyes, the eyes droop every night unable to bear the burden, the weddings get missed and the mood darkens.

The closest friendships are the ones built on trust of yesteryears but the reality of the present. A friendship which does not evolve with time is slated for doom and that’s what I see happening all around me. Imagine your parents still considering you a two year old still in dire need of some toilet training. Gross right? Exactly my point.

But then someone messages “Happy Teacher’s Day” and you remember the innocence that still exists. Strangely, you feel happy again even though feeling old.

The people in the US are nice. They are the ones who prove to me that things don’t change much post your closest friends in college get married. I mean they do to a certain extent but the world does not come to an end as had been predicted. When my friends here are in their deep slumber, the phones from US come to ask if I was doing alright. And the world seems nicer again.

The next weekend is a long one in Mumbai and the keepers of my sanity plan to descend on the city. They are needed, to restore the balance, to bring back the faith, to clear the webs of confusion. Because sometimes to add and subtract, you need to lend and borrow at times.

And Then She Left...

One more bright sunny morning, one more airport, one old city, one city that I have loved even before I had ever set foot on it, one city that grows on me every time I visit but somehow today there’s this vast emptiness within with a strange sense of peace and happiness. She left us behind about 4 hours back to start a new life and as I watched her go I realized how important and integral a part Red was to our lives.

There was no way on Earth I would have missed Red’s marriage. But this marriage was even more important to me as this was a test of my Friendship has no gender theory. And what ever happened over the last 48 hours made me realize the need to modify my theory.

I have been to many a friend’s wedding. The flight tickets to all these weddings alone would have been able to pay for my long awaited final switch to a DSLR. And whether it was A getting married, or V tying the knot, it didn’t matter much. After all, Bros would remain Bros; a little domesticated perhaps post marriage but not changed extensively. Women also did not change much; expect perhaps coming to meet me in a Saree when they intend to introduce their husbands to samples like me. After all, Watsa did tell me nothing much really changes. And I believe Watsa.

Red was however the first Lady Bro to get married. Or at least the one, where I was mature enough to understand what was happening. All through her life she has been this sweetheart loved by everyone who had the opportunity to meet her, even if it was for 90 seconds. Every morning as Gtalk signs in; she is the first one to wish a Good morning. During every bad day at office I am sure Red might call out of the blue and things will be better again. Red has this amazing capacity to cheer anyone up.

Few months back Red called to tell me about this guy in the US. She said she kinda liked him and I was ecstatic. Red was about to start a new journey. When I realized that she was beginning to really like our gentleman, I fervently began to wish that this should work out, for Red’s sake.

And then it was decided. On Boxing Day, 2009, she would finally cross over. Rain, Hail, Fire came pouring through the heavens but I knew I would be there. Perhaps the rationale behind Telengana was rational but a bandh would not stop me from being there when Red took her first step towards her new life.

I saw her for the first time as she was putting on Mehendi for the Sangeet. And from nowhere it hit me. Red was going off to the US. She would no longer remain the Red we all knew. And it was just not Red. Within the next couple of years, everyone would move on. Our lives were changing and that too very fast. For one of those few moments in my life that I am not proud of, I became selfish. I wished things remained the same. Red remains Red, I had just come to say hi and take a non existent break from work and soon I will be back to my desk with nothing changed. I can handle every change in my project networks, I can handle changes in product formulations, communication themes, everything but perhaps not this.

Red was blushing. She looked the perfect Indian Bride – beautiful, resplendent, shy and so alien. It has been over eight years and still she looked a different person. Someone I vaguely remembered from times of old. But Red looked happy. She was literally glowing. And that again changed everything. I began to see the pattern. Friendship is gender neutral but their evolution is not. The evolution of friendship post marriage between the 2 genders requires a lot more effort. I can’t perhaps right now sneak up to Red from behind, give her a slap on the back and shout, “Machhaaaa What’s up?” (Perhaps I should not do that to A as well!!! His wife is a dear but perhaps does not like a Sunny Deol type 12 kilo ka haath hitting her hubby. Should definitely ask her next time)

Swets and Set waited with me. We watched her leave. We, who perhaps were closest to her over all these last few years, will now need to rebuild our relationship. Maybe nothing will change. Maybe because Red is so awesome, she will never let us believe that she’s ever gone. But as of today, one of my best friends starts her journey towards a great life ahead.

Thus ended my post on the flight. But I decided to wait. And it did me good. Russian Princess gave me the slogan, “telecom internet zindabad” while ‘sunfriend’ checked out if I was coming for her marriage. That seems impossible as of today but I think I will be surviving missing the marriage as thankfully she’ll be in India.

Anyway as I logged in today, her gtalk showed offline. And it was ok.