The Traveller on Foot

Genesis speaks about how the world was formed. However, whoever wrote the books forgot one important detail on how oil was formed. When oil was discovered and more importantly its scarcity and thus its importance came into our notice, we had come too far away from the God person to rewrite the story of creation. In fact with oil set to touch close to USD 110 any day, it would perhaps be apt to say that Oil is the new God.

Amusingly the Emirate of Dubai does not have a lot of oil reserves but like Singapore it built on its geographical advantage to be counted as one of the World’s greatest cities giving a select percentage of its residents the ultimate sense of luxury.

Like all cities, Dubai has a face for the world and another which faces itself when the city cares to look into the mirror. It has well marketed its known face to the world. But in the labour camps full of Asians who have come for the search of a better life in the burgeoning construction industry here, the well known face of Dubai has no significance. Not only does Dubai have the largest percentage of cranes used in the construction industry across the world, it is also home to the largest migrant population in the world today with close to 80% of the population being non-nationals, most of them hailing from South Asia and the Philippines.

My window in my living room gives me a view of the Sheikh Zayad Road, a straight road leading directly to Abu Dhabi and even late into the night, the traffic never ceases on it. With a lack of well connected and reliable public transport system, you either depend on your own driving skills or hire a taxi who are typically difficult to be found. You can of course call them up. For people like me, who like to hop from one place to another it becomes a pain. Also pedestrian walks are almost non existent. As a result, the traffic is killing near the main city centres.

Interestingly, I have seen South Asian unity at all places outside South Asia. I guess we are not so different after all. Bangladeshi cabbies and cafeteria owners have been ecstatic on hearing me speak in Bengali to them. Pakistani cabbies have given me lots of fundaes on Hazrat Ali and Urdu while my good old Indian cabbies have suggested food places I must visit for vegetarian food.

Being an Indian has the typecasts that one must live with. We were perhaps once the land of the snake charmers, but today Indian IT proficiency makes almost everyone envy us. Well, sort of. Roughly every other day I get to hear, “Wow, you guys are so great with this stuff.” by doing almost nothing that can be called an extraordinary task. Like for example, running a virus scan.

Dubai has been fun. So in this last post on Dubai for the time being, let me tell you about my favourite trip. Your trip should start at the Gold Souk. Post lunch, pick a cab and go around the place, get dazzled and then take a long walk down the creek to the Abra stations. Abras are small boats, just like launches or steamers in India, which ferry people across the creek, which I hate to admit is much cleaner than the Ganges. Once you are done seeing the creek and the sun beats down on you, head for the museum. Nice audio visuals will greet you and you’ll have an understanding of how history shaped Dubai, but beware; it is more show than substance. In fact, the only good thing in the museum is the souvenir shop where you’ll have an idea about what you can find in Dubai. Rest awhile here or move to the Ruler’s Court and take a turn and come back to the Creek. The sun would be setting soon and you’ll find lots of people coming in to feed the gulls. As the sun sets, the two temples begin to get active and if you are there on the weekend, you’ll find the Indian community in their best attire filling up the entire area. Of course, you’ll get to see budding love stories, hopeful college kids trying to see if they can find someone special, boys trying to act macho and girls giving them not even a cursory glance. Once done, walk down to Bur Dubai, see the shoppers go crazy, pick up a decent dinner and then catch a cab back home. On the way back you can of course ask the cabbie to drive around the Consulates. It’s a good ride.

Also yesterday I achieved one in the ‘things to do before I am 30’ list. I finally went to all four BITS Pilani centres across the world – Pilani, Goa, Hyd and now finally Dubai. My alma mater is a bit crazy in terms of location selection. BITS Dubai like BITS Pilani is almost in the middle of nowhere. But given the rate of construction activities in Dubai, I guess, it will not stay so for long though.

So long Dubai. Shukran. The traveller must now set forth for his next stop - A sleepy village somewhere in the northern parts of India. And if I do find an internet connection there, I’ll keep you updated.

The Shopping Paradise of the 90s

Being a typical Indian kid, brought up on a staple diet of Bollywood movies telecast in good old Doordarshan, Dubai was always the land of the rich and famous and of course the smugglers and their golden biscuits. In the Nineties however it became synonymous with shopping of the Bollywood stars and of course the political cat and mouse game.

Dubai still maintains its charms. With India arriving strongly on the maps of consumerism, we have all the global brands at our disposal. However, when we travel out we see the commoditization of most brands across categories, especially in categories like low end skin and personal care. The other fun part about shopping in Dubai is the variety of choices you get. If you decide to span the entire price chain, you’ll get something for everyone. This is a small shopping guide for all those who love window shopping and looking at people in the malls and would not mind picking up a few stuff here and there. After all, you buying stuff is what gives me my salary and a conviction that yeah I have a job.

Traditional markets in these parts of the world are called souks. In most residential areas, you’ll find a souk. The main ones (i.e. the ones that make Dubai famous) are the three souks that line the Dubai Creek. Let’s start with Gold. The traditional and still the best market for gold is the Gold Souk just beside the creek. With the passage of time and now there’s a New Gold Souk (a mall actually) and a Gold and Diamond park. Most big names have shops at all these places. However, the fun is in the Gold Souk. I felt that this place could very well challenge Fort Knox. It’s absolutely dazzling and all that’s glittering here is actually gold. Once you have finished lamenting that you’ll never have enough money to buy this place out (if you are a girl that is) you can make your way to the Spice Souk to take back home some good quality saffron or head to the perfume souk for some traditional aatars or branded fragrances.

I remember when I was a kid, it was absolutely necessary for anyone going abroad to bring in gifts for folks back home. So the typical Indian would buy a big suitcase first and fill it up with knick knacks to take back. As I had said earlier, with people going on holidays to Bangkok and every Brand worth its salt making a beeline for the Indian’s Share of Wallet, the gift bringing craziness has come down considerably. However, we all like to pick up a few things here and there. (As I had also said, the variety is just baffling). Before I tell you about the malls, let’s start with the big markets in Dubai.

The Biggest by far is Bur Dubai. In fact, this is the area Dubai grew out from. You have Big Brands as well as your 10-12 AED shops where you can go completely nuts. This is also the place where you can check out electronics prices apart from Carrefour. We saw the smartest little gadgets all around; of course everything was Made in China. Supposedly, you must bargain at every place. But then, I was never any good at that. Apart from Bur Dubai, you must also check out Karama. Satwa however, has not much of a choice in terms of shopping. That’s the place where you can dabble your finger in different cuisines. Apart from this, all these places have little antique shops where you can easily get Made in India merchandise. So be a bit careful. And yeah, don't forget the junk jewellery. Not much of a connoisseur am I, but the birds and the bees tell me Splash has a good collection at the malls apart from these shops.

Now about the malls. They are everywhere. You can’t escape them. But if you are suffering from time constraints you must make your picks. My pick would be the following.

Ibn Batuta Mall – My favourite mall till now. The architecture here is based on the travels of Ibn Batuta and you must visit this mall if only for its architectural splendour. A sprawling mall with separate styles for China, India, Persia and a few others, Ibn Batuta ensures that the entire day will whiz past without you ever knowing. And of course there’s a huge multiplex just like all other big malls. The souvenir shop here has a good variety of antiques that can be picked up.

Souk Madinat Jumeirah – Built like the traditional souks, this mall is situated near the Burj Al Arab and has breathtaking views all along. This is however not a place where you might want to do some shopping. Almost everything here is highly overpriced but then it’s an experience. The restaurants have good cuisines and even have live bands playing on specific nights. But if you really want to soak in the lifestyle, have a nice candle night dinner beside the canal.

Mall of the Emirates - is just like any Mall anywhere in the World with a Multiplex and a Carrefour. But what makes it special is Ski Dubai. A huge artificial snow park, here you’ll begin to believe that Aladdin and his Genie are for real. Ski Dubai is almost a Fantasy Dreamland. The ski slopes are steep and you need to get a license, starting at beginner’s level. But the skateboarding and the tube diving are fun enough. However, I could not help imagining how much power would be required to keep this running.

Deira City Centre – The original Mall of the Emirates. Once the biggest mall in Dubai, it has a steady clientele amongst the Asians. Being near the Creek, it’s a nice time pass.

Wafi Mall – The mall for the rich and the famous. It has all the best brands in the world and surprisingly is empty. Mall of the Emirates suffers from bringing everything under one roof. Wafi succeeds in keeping out the ordinary and the day to day. For someone like me, it was a blessing in disguise. There’s absolutely no rush, or as we would say in our local Mumbai trains, no gardi; which ensures that you soak in the atmosphere, the high streets of fashion and the shoppers who dresses speak in designer labels. Built around the Egyptian history, Wafi is not majestic in terms of architecture like Ibn Batuta, or size like mall of the Emirates, but what sets it apart is its grandeur and snobbishness. A must visit for feeling like “Ek din ka Sultan.” Also on the 3^rd floor, is a great entertainment zone for kids aged between 20 to 30 and there The Tomb comes alive to scare the life out of you.

Shop till you drop then :) I shall leave you to your own exploration now and if you happen to have visited mercato Shopping mall which claims to be the only themed Renaissance shopping mall in the Middle East, drop me a mail.

A World without Boundaries

Panchi, Nadiyan, Pawan ke jhoken;

Koi Sarhad na Inhe Roke.

Have you ever stood on the shores of a land that is not your own and yet the breeze that caressed your cheeks reminded you of your mother’s palm on your forehead when you were down with fever? Have you ever wished to the seagulls to tell you what was happening back at your home? Have you ever felt like Alexander Selkirk in an island full of men? Have you ever seen the sea split into a riot of colours beneath the setting sun?

As my travels in Dubai were coming to an end, there was one last frontier left to conquer and literally it turned out one of those days that make a cliché come true. Save the best for the last indeed. The Sea at Jumeirah is beautiful to say the least. It is not scary, nor treacherous, rather it is a sea tamed by men who have defied nature to build The Palm and The World. The sun loves to play its tricks here. You can actually see three distinct colours on the same expanse of the sea and when you turn around the entire Dubai Skyline greets you.

I have been now to almost the two extremes of Asia and touched the sea there. And every single time I have tried to feel if the sand beneath my feet was like me- uprooted from the country I love. And those are the times I realize how futile the dream of a world without boundaries really is. We love our own boundaries. We love our own safety nets.

As the sun slowly set, I realized the symbolism of it all. Today we came to know about the passing away of Dr. (Mrs.) Meera Banerjee, a legendary professor of the Humanities Department at BITS. Legends, even though they fade away deserve one last bow and as the sun set over Asia, a legend finally came to rest within the hearts of all those who knew her.

A Thought for Food – The Hiker’s Dubai Food Guide

UAE is a great place for food fanatics, especially if you are the types who kill innocent animals for your own palette’s pleasures. If you have read a bit of Tim Harford and his paperback economics, you’ll perhaps know about the tourist traps – the costly and overpriced restaurants at the major tourist attractions around the World. Now Dubai has its fair share of them, like the ones on Burj Al Arab, Dubai Marina and Souk Madinat Jumeriah but overall you’ll be able to survive. That’s the other good thing about Dubai, Sharjah and even Abu Dhabi - you tend to get an extremely wide choice of price range. So you can have a really nice lunch for as less as 5 AEDs or spend perhaps your monthly salary at one shot. I figured out pretty early that going and searching for Caesar Salad in the up market restaurants is not worth spending my time and money on. So if you are hoping this post will help you find the best place for a camel roast, forget about it. My post is dedicated to all those herbivores who land up in a foreign land and forgo most of their meals in search of decent edible vegetarian food.

To be very frank, it isn’t so tough in Dubai if you know where to look. We start at the very bottom – the cafeterias. This segment has mallus everywhere. Almost 90% of the shops are run by them. Bangladeshis form the second largest group of hoteliers. Now these places might not serve you lunch, but will always have porothas and curries at your disposal and of course Lipton tea. If you are a bong, try finding a Bangladeshi one (mostly in Abu Dhabi) and you might actually get an excellent fish curry. Some restaurants are allowed to serve lunch and dinner and here you get your real value for money food. For example, if you are shopping in Bur Dubai, definitely go in to Highland Multi cuisine restaurant, near the Astoria Hotel. Really good food for souls tired from incessant shopping. In fact, while eating the Egg Bhurji there, I almost stood up and sang Jana Gana Mana after being subjected to scrambled eggs, Spanish omelette, cheese omelette and such bland ‘delicacies’ every morning at breakfast. Jai Hind. Seriously, I single handedly must have increased the pepper consumption of my hotel in these few weeks that I have been here.

Now if you are a little more status conscious, remember three names – Satwa, Karama and Bur Dubai. These are the Asian dominated areas in Dubai and thus of course are home to some great food. You have your Saravana Bhavans, Kamats, Mithais lined up in these places and the quality is really great. But what you must definitely try are Pakistani restaurants. (Most of them are concentrated in Sharjah. Yeah, no wonder we lost every time we played there) In fact, while I was having Vegetable Biriyani in Karachi Darbar at Karama, tears started flowing down my eyes, violins began to play in the background and I almost forgave our friendly neighbourhood country. It is undoubtedly the best Biriyani I have had in my life. Even, the Biriyani had during my school days at Zee-Shan in Calcutta by saving pennies from my already puny pocket money did not taste better. And of course order carefully if you are ordering parathas or roties. The Pakistani counterparts are perhaps double the diameter of our small but beautiful chapattis.

If you are however more patriotic and still want to have good North Indian Biriyani, do not worry – a mallu would have opened a Sindh Punjab or a Delhi Durbar Restaurant for you. But then you must go down to Satwa roundabout and sit on the roadside benches of Ravi Restaurant. Remember the violins in your ears? Here I am guaranteeing that they’ll become almost an orchestra, especially if you have survived on McDonalds or Burger Kings.

Speaking of fast food, things are pretty much the same like in Mumbai or Bangalore. You have your usual Subways, McDonalds, Pizza Hut and Burger King along with a few others. These are spread across the city, in petrol pumps and in Food Courts in the malls. As usual, they will typically have only one vegetarian variety, so ensure you do not visit the same chain without having a good interval between visits. In Dubai however, Burger King definitely tastes better than McDonalds. Your search for Indian chats will again take you back to Karama, where you will find yourself in Bombay Chowpatty.

For the more experimenting types, if you are from India, I’ll definitely recommend the Lebanese and Turkish restaurants. They are pretty much spread across the city. But try to take someone who’ll know what to order. A good idea would be to go ahead and walk down from Satwa Roundabout and look around for a restaurant you might want to explore. The other good cluster of food joints is near the Shangri-la Hotel at the Dubai Manhattan. From Nandos to Tony Romas, this place has a good variety for the Friday Nights. For those who want to cook, you’ll fall in love with the supermarkets which has fresh and canned food of every sort. The animals that have been killed for your eating pleasure, I hear, are also extremely succulent. In fact, even smaller outlets might have a great collection of fish for the bongs and the mallus. But you can make do without cooking if you are here for a short duration. In fact, my kitchenette will wish I had never tried making pasta. :)

Also, remember the Breakfast Buffet. Yes, it will get boring and repetitive and you’ll try searching for vegetarian food and end up with different versions of potatoes. You’d have made a perfect permutation combination of all types of bread available. But still if you get lost in the way, the heavy breakfast is what keeps you alive, trust me.

Here’s a song for food and lovers of good food. The mouse always knew it. Seeing this movie made me believe more in mice than H2G2 could :)

Dreams are to lovers as wine is to friends

Carried through lifetimes, (and) spilled now and then

I am driven by hunger, so saddened to be

Thieving in darkness; I know you're not pleased

But nothing worth eating is free

My hope is a banquet impatiently downed

Impossibly full, now I'll probably drown

Many thieves' lives are lonely with one mouth to feed

If giving means taking, I'll never succeed

For nothing worth stealing is...

Free at last; won't be undersold

Surviving isn't living; won't eat what I'm told

Let me free, I'll astonish you; I'm planning to fly

I won't let this party just pass me by

The banquet is now underway, so...

Bring out the bottles; a new tale has spun

In clearing this table, my new life's begun

I am nervous, excited; (oh) just read the marquee!

A lifetime of hiding; I'm suddenly free!

My dinner is waiting for me

A lifetime of hiding; I'm suddenly free!

My dinner is waiting for me

The Ultimate Competition

My lifestyle goes through dramatic changes every few months. 11 months ago, I was checking into a hotel in Muzaffarpur in Bihar, now I’m in a hotel suite on Sheikh Zayad road in Dubai. This is by the way, a road I call the Nile of Dubai. The entire city has decided to expand along the sides of this road. In fact, if you travel down the entire length of the road, you will pretty much have seen the new face of Dubai. The other night I went up to the swimming pool and from the rooftop I could see Dubai beneath my feet. It was almost a similar feeling 11 months ago, only then all the neighbourhood buildings were smaller when compared to mine. Here I could see Burj Dubai, the Tallest tower in the world by far, and growing raise its head almost as a gesture of pointing fingers to someone up there in the heavens. Anyway, as I was changing for the jacuzzzi, I couldn’t help but chuckle. It would be good fun to do a comparison. And so I did. Here are the results –

7:00 am – in Muzaffarpur you wake up to go into the bathroom, which typically is an Indian style one, unless of course you are a big shot regular, or perhaps the local politician or the local don (if they are different) or if you are a foreigner. Here normally they would have the western toilet. But wait. Here too, there’s a distinction. My guest bathroom is the ‘Indian’ one, with its water sprouter as well as its tissues. But my own bathroom has only tissues, no water jet and obviously no mugs. Now that’s the complete western if you might please call it so.

8:00 am – Sales has taught me the importance of breakfast. You almost never get to have a decent lunch when you are out in the markets. So whether I like it or not, I try not to skip breakfast. So 11 months ago, I forced extremely unhealthy puri bhaji made of pure ghee down my throat day after day and here being a vegetarian I push extremely healthy bowls of fruits and cereals down my throat. But whether healthy or unhealthy, if the menu remains the same almost every other day, you tend to make an effort to actually push it down.

Market Trips – 11 months ago, I would have a nice comfortable rickshaw taking me to every market worth its salt. Here normally, is the AC car. But there, I could actually put the salesman behind me and ride away to glory on his bicycle, here probably if I try to drive, I’ll get arrested.

Spa and Sauna – It’s tough for an Indian to appreciate Sauna or Spa. Why would someone in their right senses, living so close to the tropics want to go ahead and inflict torture upon himself or herself? But the good thing is that here while I have to climb up to the roof top for the spa, my room in Muzaffarpur had a natural spa. In the late nights of an Indian summer when the room was almost on fire, you perspire enough to make it feel like a natural spa. I tried not to use the cooler much there. I continue to try use the ACs in both my rooms as less as possible here.

Swimming pool – Villa Rotana Suites has a rooftop swimming pool. During the floods in Bihar, Hotel President had developed a puddle on the terrace. I could splash about there. I splash about here. There I could look into the skies for a speck of sunshine and hope that my boss remembered I existed. Here I look into the skies to wish spectacles were not needed while lounging in a unisex pool.

10:00 pm – 11 months ago, I used to go to bed knowing fully well that I might feel extremely tired next day morning as the bed is really uncomfortable. Today I am going to bed knowing fully well that I might feel extremely tired tomorrow morning as the bed is too comfortable.

But while the competition was neck to neck till now, guess how I decided the winner. A simple question was asked…

If the President of India visited either of these cities and decided not to stay in a government accommodation guess who’d have a greater chance of having a room beside the President?

That seals it.

A Tale of Three Cities

In India the 7 sisters are perhaps the most beautiful family in terms of Natural Beauty. The seven Emirates that make up the United Arab Emirates can not come close to them in terms of the scenic beauty. Yet, the Emirates have a charm of their own. And this charm is felt best in its three cities of Sharjah, Dubai and Abu Dhabi. Dubai is like Mumbai - brash, arrogant, a financial power house fuelling the growth of the entire region. Abu Dhabi is the Nation’s capital and in many ways like New Delhi, fighting hard to become as savvy as Dubai without losing its character. As Dubai reaches the zenith of its power, Abu Dhabi is slowly but steadily on its way to overtake Dubai as the greatest city of the Middle East in the future. Sharjah is like Calcutta or Chennai, content to be the third in the race, assuming the looks of a ghost town as its inhabitants rush to Dubai every morning for work. If you are visiting UAE, a visit to these three cities is a must to see for yourself a study in contrast. Dubai is expensive, looks down at humanity from its high-rises and skyscrapers as 6 lane highways experience traffic jams worse than a flood hit Mumbai. Abu Dhabi quietly looks on with all its grandeur. It will not compromise on its architectural aesthetics but like Lutyen’s Delhi will dream of beating its brethren. Sharjah on the other hand is the last refuge for the not so rich and famous. With the Indian team not coming any longer to play, the city has lost its place in the sun. It’s roads though great will always fall short in comparison to Dubai’s and it’s buildings will not match up to Abu Dhabi’s. In fact, a part of Dubai on Sheikh Jayed Road is called the Dubai Manhattan and they have actually brought the sea into Dubai Marina to give a feel of what I think might be Venice. Now for someone like me who has neither seen Manhattan nor Venice, does it matter?

The difference in the cities is left in their tourist profiles too. While the Jumeirah Beach in Dubai is the favourite haunt for the Westerners, the beaches in Sharjah are loved by the Asians. But yet, in the veins of these cities that paint the picture of Gulf in the mind of the average Indian, there are a thousand stories hidden, waiting to be heard. Stories of families left behind, stories of darkness beneath the glitz. And to the Legal Alien, these stories are what make a travel worth remembering.

Of Pelvic Thrusts, the Sheesha and Angry Camels

Normally I hate conducted tours. You get clubbed down with all sorts of holiday tourists with most of them trying to figure out if there’s any freebie that they are not having. For example, I have heard tourists in Jaipur looking at the Hawa Mahal and asking the tour operator, “So where is the special Rajasthani snack that’s mentioned in the brochure?” (Well, to be fair, we all do that. That’s human nature.)

But the point is that while at Singapore I realized that it is always better to explore a country as it is without any guide. To get lost in its by-lanes, to get helped out in the most unexpected way, to search for a place that serves something that resembles vegetarian food, has charms of their own.

But sometimes, it pays to be on one of these conducted tours. Let’s take for example the case of the desert safari here. I believe it’s a trip worth taking if you are in the Middle East, if for nothing else then at least for having within a few hours time a taste of the lifestyle of the Bedouins that once were and yes of course the belly dancing.

So before anything else you must leave the city of skyscrapers that tend to be forever growing upwards and drive down a road that’s as smooth as 98% fat free margarine at a speed of 160 kms/hr to hit the desert sands and of course be in time for the belly dancing.

The first thing that you should do in a desert safari is wish that you had been brought up in a Calcutta that was building its Metro Rail and loved its potholes or you had gone to a college in Rajasthan or Bangalore which were so hated by the authorities that the approach roads resembled the roads of World War II ravaged Europe or you had cycled down a paddy field with 10 villagers and their dogs chasing you thinking that you were the chicken thief. (Well, I had done the first two but just added the third in case you fit the description). In case none of your wishes have come true, you MUST pray to Dharam Paji and the other screen Gods of the 60s and 70s. Or if you are slightly westernized, you might pray to Gregory Peck. But trust me; it requires the blessings of a Dharam Paji. After all, you need to live to watch the belly dancing.

So you start with the dune bashing. It’s submitting your life at the hands of a crazy driver on a four wheel drive, (the one who drives at 160 km/hr) and remembering all the Chambal ki daaku movies which had a definite scene with the villains chasing the hero (or the other way round) on a jeep across the desert (that’s where the Western movies come in handy) Trust me it’s not easy. It’s like the worst roller coaster you have ever been on. One moment you see a huge dune rising up in front of you and the next you drive straight into it. So you realize that the seat belts are actually there for a reason. But when you drive straight into the shining sun it’s an experience worth having. And obviously you are going to the belly dancing.

So typically after your inside has been churned and churned again by this ride, you finally reach a nicely set up camp which is supposed to give you a taste of the world that was. You take pictures dressed as a Sheikh and hope if they threw in an oil well as a freebie that would be just awesome. And you look at the stage set for belly dancing and wonder.

But before that there are a couple of other things that you can do. You can go in for a camel ride. At the cost of being racist, I must say I find the camels of the Thar far more gentle, friendly and well mannered. You can go for the Henna painting on your hands or go and splurge at the amazingly overpriced souvenir shop and also buy your ultimate Arabian fantasy dress if you know what I mean. And you wonder if this dress would be worn by the belly dancer as well.

But before that there is Sheesha. The Europeans call it the Hubbly Bubbly and the Indians call it the Hookah. In fact, whether you’re a nicotine addict or not, it might just be a good idea to sit in the middle of the desert with the seesha in your hands, waiting of course for the belly dance to begin.

Now unless you are absolutely inattentive, you must have realized by now that the phrase belly dancing has appeared quite a few times in this post. Well for every Indian male, the typical idea of a Middle Eastern Belly Dance comes from the repeated viewing of the movie Sholay, but for certain people the connection is a bit stronger. If you have attended college and have a few extra pounds around your waist, you probably have been through it. You are the one who is picked up in the senior interaction sessions and asked to do the belly dancing. So I guess if someone decided to finally lay the questions in his mind to rest and understand for once the intricacies involved, you can’t blame him.

In most of the conducted tours however you will be disappointed. It might just turn out to be a Lebanese or an Eastern European dancer well past her prime doing the regular moves that had been age old secrets carefully guarded by the pelvic thrust specialists of Bollywood. But in the chill of night, when you hear the music and see the dance, you might just realize that traces of an art form still remains hidden waiting to be explored.

There are ways to get away from the formatted patterns of a tour. You can lie on your back and hear the sands sing to you. You can ride the camel, forget the really uncomfortable jeans and sing to yourself, Ajeem o shaan Shahensha, you can watch the sun set, imagine yourself to be in a land centuries ago where you were yet to light a fire to keep the wild animals of the night away.

And yes, the other good thing about conducted tours. You get good Indian vegetarian food. And yeah, that’s something important. Trust me.

From Mother Bai to Two Bai

To be very frank, I could not think of any other title for this post. One more flight, one more new place to work in and one more time zone and there I was on an Emirates Flight. Anyway, though the air hostesses on the flight were really cute, I believe that our girls on any of our domestic airlines will beat them hands down in the matters of courtesy, customer responsiveness or plain efficiency. It was really appalling to see the way the ground staff of Emirates at the Mumbai Airport behaved.

But the in-flight entertainment channel was unbelievable. It had the latest Hindi movies. It had Scrubs and to top it all off it had a Bengali Mithunda movie. Now I miss those gems. He was THE crime fighting Inspector who warned the goons the first time, next time they met he would send them to the hospital and if the unlucky goon met him the third time, he would be sent to the funeral pyres. So there was Mithunda waging “Yuddha” or War against the goons.

In fact, he so inspired me that as soon as I landed I went ahead and took a cell phone number that was the James Bond signature. 007 – Thank God they haven’t made it a special number yet. On the way to the hotel, I wondered at the city’s skyline. What does it take to build a city in the middle of the desert, to make flowers bloom out of nothing? It seemed at last the genie from the bottle had finally come out and granted people their desires. Maybe at $111 a barrel and rising, oil is the new genie. But interestingly Dubai is the least blessed of them all in terms of oil.

Whatever the movies might say, good men normally finish last. That’s why you have an Om reborn as Om Kapoor – you need to have the backing dude. Just being a good guy doesn’t help. So this statistics have ensured that good men in the world see a worldwide dwindling in their numbers. But they exist. They exist for example at the Convention Centre on Sheikh Jayed Road. On my first day at Dubai, I relied too much on my hugely bloated ego as a seasoned traveller and got out of my Hotel to find a friend was happily lazing away in one of the classiest hotels in the city. Now if you are from Cal or Mumbai you normally walk out and always find some form of transport or the other which you can hop onto. In Dubai, you normally try to not get yourself killed as you cross the roads. So I was wondering around the road hoping for a bus or cab to come by forgetting completely that even my hotel would have a cab service.

But then like Gabriel I see a gentleman smiling at me. He comes near me and asks, “Indian? Lost?” Never have I been so happy about my Indian appearance. So here was Abhay who gave me a lift all the way to the hotel. He was from Goa; I had just come from Goa. He was getting married; I had friends who were getting married. So we had a lot of things in common. So in a new country, I found one of the last few remaining good men.

Abhay, here’s all the very best to you. Maybe we will meet again one day.

Statutory Warning: If you are a gum eater like me, get your own stock. A packet of Wrigley’s sticks cost the same here as a can of Pepsi.

I Need a Woman in My Life

Yes, it’s official. I need a woman in my life right now. At least for a month. To understand my craving for the female company you need to understand the background. No, I am still sane. I am not feeling any pangs of loneliness as most of my friends are rushing to get married. Most of my convictions in life remain the same. But one thing has changed. My location. I am in Dubai since last week.

Now Life in Dubai is exotic. You stay in hotel rooms which stink of luxury, you get picked up and dropped off by a limo and yet you wait for your next accommodation details since you will be moving into a suite. But about that later. One of my basic needs, after food, a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, floaters and a 6 ft by 6 ft roofed hut with a proper bathroom is my need to travel - to look around a city and feel it’s pulse. Unfortunately, in Dubai the options are not aplenty. If I look at my must visit places, 80% of them turn out to be malls. (If you are intelligent, you will understand my need for a woman now). Now as much as I like the people I am here in Dubai with (or as much as they seem to tolerate me), at the end of the day they are just men – uncouth, counter strike playing, babe watching men, lacking the finesse of the better half of our species.

So my plans of Dubai trips are in jeopardy. In fact, my great plan of going to 7 different malls in one week is right now in shambles. After the first 2 days, they called it quits. So in the Mall of The Emirates, the largest mall in the world outside North America, they looked the most bored individuals, just slightly less bored than the 60 year old gentleman whose wife was busy shopping with their daughter/daughter-in-law. From my confused understanding of the human psyche, 3 types of people like malls - women, metrosexual men and freaks of nature like me who despite being a non-metrosexual male loves malls. (I might just be leaning a bit towards being ubersexual, but that’s for a later discussion). So today I went alone to Souk Madinat Jumeirah and while getting hopelessly lost in its beautiful interiors and lively shops resembling a traditional “souk” I realized that I need a woman with me.

So in case you are reading this and satisfy the gender requirement and are ready to travel to Dubai, at your own expense of course, please let me know. Lots and lots of malls still left to explore. And just for your information, I am a great window shopper and that’s exactly the amount I can afford to spend. So I’m one of those who loves malls but shy away from shopping. But, the offer is open; I can accompany you as you buy your Zara.

Else be prepared for my cribs about not having a woman in my life in my Dubai travel updates.