December 03, 2009

A Year Younger

I seem to be writing quite a few Birthday Posts. It’s as if I am supposed to write them. Like an obligation. Oh my God! It’s birthday time. So it’s post time. But what the heck. My birthday is just over. It’s late in the night and it’s a good time to write. Now, interestingly, as you add years, what you add to your life also changes. You add inches to your waist, bad cholesterol to your diet, worries to your head and at times even ketchup to your shirt. And you lose some things, friends mostly, money too. But then money is a random variable. You win some you lose some.

To be honest, I would not have written this down. The original plan was to mail a few friends the frustration that usually comes when your body and mind wants to be 14 while the world thinks you are almost double that. On the eve of the Birthday, the mood was dark. I seldom have them. Typically, I stop at being melancholy. But that evening it was dark.

I did not know what to do for my birthday. Work had piled up and the pile did not look or smell nice. Imagine a cockroach infested clothes bag filled with smelly socks. It was worse than that. And it irritates me to my wits end when all people can come and ask is, “Arre you have no plans for your birthday?” Why on Earth should I make plans? It’s just like any other day. Yes, I was born today. But so what? It has not changed the world. It has not made this a better place to live in. It has not even affected anyone’s life. So what exactly should I be celebrating? The fact that I am adding up the years and all I can think of is, “Ahhh! So when should I make the next PPT?” Don’t get me wrong, I like my job but as I said I don’t know why on earth was I born at all?

These are existential questions and we all go through it. However, it just was adding up that night. A cold, running nose, work, stress, it was a mess. And I was sure that it was going to be the worse birthday ever. I went out late from office. Went for a long walk to clear things up in the head. And then something happened at around 10:30

My roommates were back and with a huge cake. Well, I love them and I think it was awesomely sweet of them. But the person who came with them surprised me all the more. She did not need to be there. After I had so rudely snubbed her in the evening when she told me that I should be having a life and get out of the office. Well, to be fair to me, I was sarcastic and not rude. Whatever. The important thing was that I had friends that late into the night.

And things started looking up. Calls came. Messages came in. Boss took us out for lunch at the Taj. I got an awesome DVD set of Shakespeare in Movies from him. It was a touching gesture. And that’s exactly the point when the gloom lifted and I started counting the blessings instead of cribbing about what I did not have. My team remembered. The chef at office made some really nice ragda patties. And I still have unread wishes on facebook. Clearly orkut is no longer the favourite choice.

Everyone has in their lives certain events that never happen and yet we wait for it. I am a part of the set called everyone. But the best part of the birthday was that this was the first time when the thoughts of them did not even flutter through the mind.

This birthday I guess I finally was free. Because when you are staring at the pits, all you can do is look up.


Shreya said...

It's like when people wish and make a fuss, I find myself thinking - what's the big deal. But I would feel lousy if they didn't.
Btw, you still look 14 :D

War - war said...

Banjo, now it's my turn. To get worried. :)

Anonymous said...

Pls finish the cake...before it rots in fridge

Sweta Nandagiri said...

And you ask me not get into existential dilemmas?

Meow said...

Hey belated b'day wishes yaar!! :( missed reading your posts :(

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

Thanks everyone and sorry for the one month delay :)