Becoming Page 3 or The Lure of Capitalism

On Saturday when I woke up, a pain seared through my body. Perhaps the weeks of stress was finally telling its story. It was tough to just pull myself out of the bed even as the sun shone through the blinds.

It has been few tough weeks. But then that’s where the fun lies too. Anyway that’s not the point. The point is that all along I had thought that it’s the prerogative of the individual to choose what is best for him or her. The societal pressures often cloud this power to choose and sometimes you get caught up in the shroud of the image you have created for yourself, not managing to break out of it.

To simplify my personal tastes, I have segmented my choices into simply two - class and mass. For example, in choice of food, I am classy. In choice of clothes, I’m not even mass-y, rather I should admit I am rather messy.

So when I woke up and looked longingly at the book I was reading on Friday night, unable to reach for it, I thought. And I felt like Stephen Hawking. The difference being he thinks about Strings, I think about Jelly Beans. Well you get the drift. So after thinking for a while, I remembered what was there in the refrigerator and thus was able to pull myself out.

As I walked along with my cycle, (of course I couldn’t make myself ride it) I thought of what my body needs. And I realized that it hasn’t been pampered for a long time now. What I really needed was a Pehelwaan from Western UP, but since Mumbai does not take kindly to the type these days, I decided to look for alternative options.

Now my association with Page 3 is through the kind acquaintance of Miss TG and Ms. SM. 10 years from today, I am sure they will be on Page 3s of TOI. My misguided fashion sense often tries to get back on track with their kind advice. Anyway as I spoke to T about my condition she suggested that I go to a massage parlour and rattled off 20 names with suggestions. So under the afternoon sun my flatmate and I left with Didi cheekily commenting that she would not fly down to bail me out if I was caught in some shady place.

When I was a child, the right to massage my head was only with one gentleman. He had the rights over the heads of three generations of our family. I think his spirit conspires with my grandad’s spirit to ensure that whenever a massage is concerned I always get slotted to another man. Frankly, I don’t mind. But somehow, I clearly do not understand how people can go off to sleep while undergoing a massage. I could hear people snoring away to glory.

And as I closed my eyes and thought, I realized why Capitalism would win in short term over Marxism and Spirituality. Capitalism doesn’t deny you life’s pleasures; it doesn’t ask you to make sacrifices. It only makes you ask for more and work towards that more. Only when we realize that more is never enough then we look towards finding our inner spirituality.

On a complete different note, a very close friend called it quits from his day to day boring and high paying job. Nitin is going for his PhD and I feel so proud of him. It takes a lot of gut to move out of your comfort zone and he did it with so much ease.

Me Time

Few things are as important in this world as “Me time”. It’s a time you spend in yourself, not necessarily finding out answers to life’s questions, but just doing what you love best. Take a camera, shoot indiscriminately since anyway it’s digital, read “Love Story” once again, for the umpteenth time and slump on bed refusing to wake up as the sun shines down on your bed. Read “White Tiger” and go, “Huh!!! College magazine article!!!”

I think it’s time to change my identity as a nomad. Nomadism is not really happening in 2009. Summer of course is not the ideal time to venture out but more than that there is a certain lethargy that has crept in asking me, “What are you searching for?” The French Bearded Man and the Trader were both highly disappointed with me for not coming up with something to do or someplace to go to but then the traditional Mumbaikar always heads out in the summer months to more peaceful places like the hills or the beaches which then begin to look like a mini Mumbai.

Surprisingly, when you tell yourself that you are not the solution to the numerous problems in the world and there is only so much that you can do, it gives you a strange sense of peace and nonchalance.

The search for Inner Peace - Sometimes, the kababs at Barbeque nation come close to bliss.

Choices

I have always been a believer of the fact that we always have a choice. I work for Sabun Nakhun and Datun Unlimited (SNDU) since I like the work that I do, since I choose to. Responsibility towards family, society and rest of the universe actually is inconsequential to what I choose. Those are evil plans by society to dominate the individual. However, what if all our actions are driven by our sub-conscious? What if, we were just puppets on a string? What if the reality was that we were not choosing but were in fact rationalizing the choices that had been made for us?

In the Great Game, the Master Player is the one who can make sure that the game progresses according to his or her wishes while making others think that they control the course of the game. What if God was playing the Great Game with me making me think that I have a choice? What if I really were an experimental anomaly in the laboratory of the Mice?

What if I had somewhere sometime in another age, taken the blue pill? Would that at least have been a conscious choice?