Dance Like a Man

Last year my niece started learning Hip Hop and when she met me, she challenged me to dance with her. Well, as much as I love dancing and appreciate a twirl or two on the dance floor, my girth does not allow me much flexibility. But I did start early, as early as in kindergarten where 6 of us were made to wear sarees and made to dance to Rabindrasangeet. That would have been the first time I did any form of serious dancing.

In school however, the bug was dormant till around class 12 when we did not even have a team for the interclass dance competition. We only had one guy who was really really good and then we became the background movers and shakers and in an emotional speech before the performance we made it clear to all the judges how difficult it was for us to put this show up. And they listened. You see in a missionary and slightly snobbish boys’ school, the fact that someone was trying to put up an eastern classical dance show was extremely courageous. Men and dancing somehow did not gel well together, unless you were claiming to be Mithunda or MJ.

The next was in Year 1 in College in the Music Nite. And mostly it was a wild flaying of hands rather than any coordinated movement but by fourth year we had perfected the basic moves. Sridevi trained us on the Nagin moves, Govinda on the basic bollywood steps and the Roshan boy gave the ones who were a little better something to emulate.

By 4^th year, we were serious about dancing and the Dance Workshop was coming up and we hijacked T to come and teach us the steps that would get us selected for DW. T was the best dance teacher I ever had. He saw the bunch of us in our tattered dresses, gulped hard visibly a few times and then went ahead with his job.

DW was one of the most fun memories I carry back from BITS. And I loved every moment of it. Feeling the music, letting it control your body is something that helps you to release all your inhibitions and your fears. But for the love of my life, I could not do Charleston! I loved Jive, I loved the Tango and the Waltz just blew me off my feet. And I looked down upon the new age dances ever since.

I mean Hip hop was born in the 70s. How young is that!!! At least we have seen Mithunda breaking to Bappida’s music but Popping!!! Really Popping!!! And I am leaving Locking aside for the time being. But my 5 year old niece loves her hip hop and I am the cool uncle who’s gonna take her dancing when she’s 13 and I’m well, I’m 14. So I needed to learn Hip Hop.

And I walked into a class. In the first 5 minutes it was clear that the hips and their movement is an important part of the entire hip hop basic steps. Now both Shakira’s and my hips don’t lie. Her’s speak of the hours of gymming that have gone behind them and mine; well mine shows the effect of unhealthy eating habits on human anatomy. It was all for a good cause.

Now there is something to learn from everything. There were lots of beginners in the class. And while the arms and legs were not exactly coordinated, the Indian women beat everyone is the hip shaking. I guess the years of watching the Bollywood stars help. I also realized that if Britney and I both posted our respective hip movement videos on you tube, mine might just have more hits due to its insanely comical features.

But not to disappoint my niece I trudged on and I realized I am more prone to ankle injury while hip hopping than while doing kick boxing.

Long story short, slow down the music a bit, give me a floor and I am ready to hop. The hip shall come in soon.

Dance Like a Man

I have been keeping quite for sometime now as I do not want to judge anyone or anything prematurely. But I have finally given up. After visiting quite a few discos and lounges I have come to the conclusion that the Urban Indian Man actually does not know how to dance. Visit any discotheque in the country and I guarantee you that you will see similar steps being reproduced everywhere. In fact, I think if I spare some time, I can also categorize the steps. It’s not that the Urban Indian Woman is any better. However, she has one saving grace - The Delhite. As much as I dislike the National Capital Region as a place to live, I have to give it to the Delhi Women.

When I was in this village in Rajasthan, they used to come in like these angels from outer world, making our heartthrobs and village belles look like simpletons. I think after sometime, the women in my village gave up trying to rein in their meandering men with the Delhi women around. Bespectacled studious men could be found acting like zombies, Newsletter editors would bend rules of the competition to accommodate the LSR team and Presidents would take the job of a fresher in showing people to their rooms.

Around the Oasis when these nomads from Delhi pitched their tent, the villagers would eagerly lap up the knowledge and secrets of the dance moves and in the next community singing session called Music Nights, you would see those steps being repeated by the villagers. But let’s get back to our urban Indian disco.

So while the Delhi woman adds the class, South Indian film stars (barring Prabhudeva) adds the mass. So whenever the DJ gets bored of seeing everyone dancing in a similar fashion, you can often see him changing into a ‘mass Tam’ song or that sole Aaika Dajeeba from Maharashtra. A sudden change happens in the crowd. If these are crowds who have had initiation to the great histrionics of Telugu superstars, you will see amazing steps suddenly come alive on the dance floor, the Delhi women throw a sign of disgust and move back to their margaritas to reenergize. Mithunda and Govinda were dealt a raw deal I feel at times. If only they were born in these times, it might well have been their moves that would be scorching the dance floors.

In the last decade, another phenomenon has come up. While Punjab showed us the way toward prosperity through Green Revolution, they are also responsible for the complete breakdown of the Urban Indian Man’s understanding of dance. EVERY SONG CAN’T BE DANCED AS A BHANGRA. Someone should go and tell it to the poor little rich kids. Also Bhangra I feel is a beautiful art form and should not be danced to the tunes of Shakira. But then who cares for what I feel.

The saving grace all over India as I have said are the women from Delhi. Even at the cost of alienating friends I have to accept that they are the trendsetters at most discos across the country.

Anyway, I have never been fond of discos. I have finally zeroed in on what I like. Call me prudish but I feel that it’s a dance if only if you ask someone to dance and lead her to the floor. And since I can not do that to the tunes of “Come on Baby light my fire” I’d rather sit back on the sofa and dream of waltzing in the French Riviera. If you have seen the Tango in “Scent of a Woman” you’ll know what I mean.

So, discos are out for me. It shall only be lounges with 70s rock, Jazz and country (if any at all) - Me, my kind of music and my Peach Iced tea. And if I can’t find them, I shall stay away to keep my sanity.