December 01, 2009

How Not to Marry into Vampire Families and Other Stories

Yes, I finally saw Twilight. Girl meets boy. Boy is vampire. Other vampire wants to eat girl. Something happens. Bad Vampire dies. Movie ends. But the movie is cute enough. More importantly, the movie told us what risk people who are about to get married might go through. The women at least are safer. The men have a real problem. Let’s say you are a boy. The girl’s father meets you.

Father: Beta, hum na vampirewa hain!

Beta: Ha ha

Father: Nahin beta sach hain. Har week meri beti aapki khoon choosegi. Sunday raat ko.

Beta: Ha ha. Shopping toh sari ladies karte hain. Aapki beti bhi karegi.

Father: Nahin beta, hum blood bank ka blood nahin peete hain.

Beta: Bachao!!!!

Now let’s say, you are a girl. And You are meeting the boy’s mother.

Mother: Beti, hum na vampirewa hain!

Beti: Saare sasural wale hote hain.

Mother: Nahin beti. Hum asli ke vampire hain

Beti: Aapka beta meri khoon choosna chahta hain?

Mother: Haan beti. Har Sunday raat ko.

Beti: Ruko. Police ko bulati hoon. Khoon bhi dowry hain.

Mother: Bachao.

Then I watched Paranormal Activity. Supposedly the greatest horror story ever. And even I did not get psyched. I am psyched at everything. Even spoofs of Horror movies. So I tried all tricks. I even made scary noises myself but to no avail. So I watched Rounders. It was a great movie for those who love Poker. And finally after all these years I saw Pan’s Labyrinth and am ready to put it into the same league as Bridges to Teribethia. It was beautiful. The way reality and fantasy were linked was interlinked, I was left wondering.

Watching movies make you feel nice if you have a fever through the weekend.


Shreya said...

Oh no you have fever? I am wearing a rib belt :(

Gaurav Jain said...

Going by the movie Twilight... Usain Bolt is a vampire... He runs so fast.. Even I hv started doubting Tendulkar....

KRK shows some traits as well..

CJ said...

i liked the movie - but thats probably coz i'm in love with kristen stewart :D

Kavity said...

You have fever? I just now got over with mine, and its terribly sickening to be sick during weekends :D

Happy Birthday!!! :D

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@ Shreya - take care

@ GJ - Sorry, should have mentioned you were the inspiration behind the vampire dialogues

@ CJ - Which new comer in movies are you not in love with for the last 8.5 years?

@ kavita - hope you are better now?