March 06, 2009

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I wish you were here tonight with me. I wish I could take back all that I had said and tell you all that I have always wanted to… but never could. I wish we could walk down the roads that bear our footprints. I wish I could just sit with you without feeling the need to explain myself. I wish that it was yesterday once more when we would spend hours in the dark of the night relishing the company of each other. The night would play her symphony and we would come even closer.

Today, I lie on my bed and within minutes I’m off to a dreamless sleep. It’s been ages since I touched you, felt your presence beside me or looked into your eyes, your heart, your soul.

I wish we were friends again.

I wish I knew what I am searching for, every single day of my meaningless existence. The adrenalin rush of numbers keeps me going but I know that in reality I just move from one quicksand to another.

Silence, my old friend, I wish you were here tonight with me. I’m afraid of the city I love, I hear footsteps of impending doom and I smell the decay all around. Life is creaking and screaming and struggling with all its might and I am no longer the carefree soul that I once was.

Help me silence. Take me back again. Let me embrace you and be a part of you once again. Let me live before I die.

7 comments:

Shrutz said...

If you continue writing things like this, I am going to think you are in love. :P
Silence, however, is overrated. It shows you demons that you didn't want to meet.

Anonymous said...

agree with shrutz. silence, though usually the end product of most things, is something that reveals demons when we had not the slightest idea....dont think would want to embrace it....
Pooja

Vishy said...

Solitude, I know you mean. You abandon your pursuit of a distant cave in the bosom of immovable mountains. And construct your cave around yourself. And carry it with you. In the crowds, at work, among friends.

A refuge. Home. Atlast.

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@Shrutz - Part 1 - Why on earth??? Not yet :D

@Shrutz and Pooja - Only when you meet your demons, you have your deliverance.

@Vishy - had to be you.

Shreya said...

Somehow my demons never wait around for silence to descend. They travel with me, they sleep with me, they peer into computer screens and sit beside me while I interrogate people. I am aware of their annoying, but slightly comforting-familiar presence. From time to time, I swat one of them away, only for it to come back. But when I really concentrate on one, it melts away.
Silence is like war-time - you against the demons. You pick all the resources you have gathered during peace-time and fire at them.
Deep deep. Chicken soup not good for your soul?

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@Shreya - If there were no demons to fight, who would write Fairy Tales?

Anand Kashyap said...

Bas kar yaar. Rulayega kya ;)