February 04, 2008

Random Thoughts

Things lately have not been great, but I can not complain that they have been horrible either. There are moments when I have had my doubts over my choices and then shrugged and moved on. But often a man is faced with the situation when he realizes that perhaps he is not yet fully ready for the one thing that he wants to do the most in this world. It differs from person to person how he handles it and I am yet to find my way. I also realized that as a professional, the person I dislike the most and blame for the greatest crime that I ever think of being committed in my sphere of work, is perhaps also the only person who has built up his organization under the same principles that eerily resembles my own. I am a nobody in the face of what he has achieved in his lifespan and yet one day I wish to meet him personally.

The other day after a long long time I saw a Grand Slam Final. I never thought I would be interested once Steffi had retired and Agassi had done the unbelievable and said goodbye. That day, I did not want to move out of my room. It was not even 24 hours before it would be Monday again. But Sharapova won, and suddenly while I was making myself some tea, she said what Billy Jean King had said to her, 'Champions take chances and pressure is a privilege.'

I could not go to the Iron Maiden Concert and I do not blame anyone for it. I had prepared myself for something far more important to me than the Maiden concert. (but less important than the day when Floyd would re-group for one last time). It did not happen and the irony of it all was that, while I was ready to pack my bags and make the last ditch effort to catch the concert, I had to stay back for work. I still do not know if I stayed back simply because I felt guilty for choosing something or someone else over a concert that I definitely wanted to go to. That’s a question I can live without knowing the answer to.

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