March 07, 2010

Walk of Life

I stood outside Juhu Mocha, dazed and confused. 3 days from the press of the button I stared at defeat. In her sarcasm she was scathing; in her negativity she was all pervasive and if it could be her calling, she would have declared the patient dead before he could look at the operation table. The mind was numb with fear, the senses subdued; I broke into cold sweat. I stared ahead, the sea was calling. I walked towards Juhu Beach as the world I lived in went to sleep.

The policeman came running towards me. I was stepping onto the sand after 1:00 am. He was tired of driving away couples from the beach and had enough trouble on his hands. He did not want one of the office types, with a laptop bag on his back to be creating any more problems. I stared straight through him. He wasn’t sure what to do and blew his whistle.

Sounds break trances. At least it did for me and on the spur of the moment I decided to walk back home. It’s a strange city. Here pimps, drug traffickers, police and honest hard working people co-exist. Every one has their sphere of operation and the microcosm of life is seldom disturbed.

In vain I searched for God. I wondered if this was how Joan of Arc felt as they buried her alive on the stakes. I tried to reach out to Him in a Godless world but I soon realized how separated I was from him by my own inner demons.

I walked through the sea of humanity, through the perpetrators of a thriving commerce that was looked down upon by the stated hypocritical norms of society. Slowly the fear subsided and the mind cleared. Life goes on and it would be stupid to give anything more importance than life itself. Probably, He heard it above. Probably He didn’t but that night, while on the Walk of Life I resolved to find Him again.

One day, the mind will once again be without fear.

2 comments:

Shreya said...

Oh Banjo, oh Banjo! Oh, do not commit suicide! I plead with you!!

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

:) Never