Of Love and Un-love

“Hi Sis, Sid here… Na I’m fine… No I’m going out for Dinner… With B of course… Who’s B… Oh right you wouldn’t know. She works at the Office next door. A? Arre, A is just a friend…Haan Z is a good friend too... No.. yes… Arre… What!!!... Didi listen, I’m not a Casanova. Hallo Hallo Didi? Didi?”

Sid was exasperated. First Adi, his best friend and now his Sis. Everyone thought he was becoming a bohemian. No one understood what he wanted, who he searched for.

The cell rang again. It was A.

A: Hi Sid
Sid: Hey. How are you?
A: Sid, tell me something. Do you like me?
S: Of course I do. You aren’t a devil incarnate as far as I know.
A: I knew it. You are in love with me.
S: (faints) What???????????????
A: That’s why you are trying to avoid me tonight.
S: No, I’m actually going for a Dinner with B.
A: Don’t lie to me. Chirag told me everything.

Now Sid got thinking. Who was Chirag? “Ahh… that old geezer at Retail Banking.” Self imposed elder brother, the matchmaker of Indians in New York. He was famous for ‘sensing’ relationships, most of which reminded Sid of the famous Maine Pyar Kiya Dialogue. “Ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahin ban sakte.”

That movie was the mother of K serials, Sid thought. Anyway, Chirag must have told A I like her because I too irritated to answer his question on what’s going on between us. Focus Sid Focus. You are on a call.

S: Now look A. I don’t know what Chirag said. But I seriously think there’s nothing between us. You were new to the city and I thought I should help you out. I help dozens of people. Sometimes I even help the cats of Mrs. Nopani when she brings a new one from her parent’s home in Lucknow.
A: Sid all my friends know that you have feelings for me.
S: (now searching for a rope to hang himself) And how do they know?
A: I told them. But wasn’t it obvious from the way you looked at me with tears in your eyes?
S: Well, unfortunately, onions do bring tears to my eyes. But… no listen… but… no… seriously… arre.. listen… jahhhhhh

The phone rang again.

B: Sid is that you?
S: B I am not in love with you.
B: (splutters) What was that?
S: No, please confirm that going out to dinner with you would not imply I am in love with you.
B: You must be crazy. Come on I am hungry.

25 years later

Sid is a married man, living happily without a care in the world. He claims he found his soulmate who claims she did the biggest mistake by marrying him. They have a cherubic daughter D.

D: Pop. Someone’s on line for you.
S: Who’s it?
D: It’s A aunty.
S: What now?
D: She wants to know if you have feelings for her still and why you have not moved on?
S: #^$^&#$#$%@#@#. Stop acting smart (takes the phone) Hi A. How are you?
A: Sid, I read the last book you wrote. It’s about our relationship right?
S: It’s about two megalomaniac robots lost in the tribal planet of Zinziba.
A: Come one Sid, don’t lie. The metaphor was so striking.
S: I think you are right. In my subconscious you are a megalomaniac robot. (Someone Kill Him. What did the Japanese do? Right Harakiri. Focus Sid. Focus. She’s on the line)
A: I hate you Sid.
D till now is listening intently to the conversation.
D: Pops. What’s wrong with her?
S: Well, she thinks I fell head over heels for her while I was working in NY.
D: Did you meet Mom then?
S: Nopes I met her when I was back in India.
Now Mom M returns from office at this point.
D: Mom, Dad’s extra marital affair continues
S: Et tu Brute?
M: Did A call again?
D: (Giggles) Yeah
M: Poor Girl
D: Mom, why does pop keep harping about you being the soul-mate he thought he would never find? In fact, B aunty keeps telling me, Dad bored every friend about how no woman he met was what he was looking for.
M: Actually, we were cellmates. We met while both of us were caught traveling without ticket at Mumbai and we spent the night in the lock up together. We got talking and somehow after three years we realized we were looking for each other all this while.

Sid looked fondly at his family. Yet, he was sad for someone. Sad for the Indian girl A who came to live in the apartment next to his and in that new world met people who changed her. Sad for A, who even 25 years later cannot accept the fact that someone could have nothing to do with her, except as an acquaintance. Sad for A, who takes pride in having the upper hand in relationships with others. Sad for A, who never was the remotest picture of his soulmate.

M looked at the frown on Sid’s forehead. He must be thinking about A. Sid always hoped that A would one day move on. What Sid did not realize that this thought of Sid being in love with her kept A going on for all these years instilling her sense of pride in herself.

Men, they would never understand women.