June 08, 2009

Unaided Recall

So the other day I was savouring the excellently made Palak Dosa and talking about my cycling escapades to P. P is a good listener. She can hear on and on without grumbling and answering my incessant ramblings with only her sunglasses going up and down her nose. She might have caught a few rounds of napping too. After all as I spoke, I also ate, unlike her who is on a perpetual diet.


So I was telling her of my new theory on relationships. I know I started with cycles, which then turned into Karmic cycles and finally love triangles and then to relationships. I mean the path s from cycles to relationships are not that important. If they were there would have been posts about them.


As I was saying, if you simplify everything in this world to an exercise of segmenting, targeting and positioning (yes yes its classic Kotler) you’ll see that relationships can only survive if both the parties have a strong unaided recall in each other’s minds. We associate various things to people. For example, my lunch break memories from school are of A while the travel back home is definitely of S. Both were my closest of friends. Yet, they had a special place in some aspect.


You must have felt similarly some point of time in your life. For example, an evening at the India Gate can never be complete without someone while at the Gateway you will not really miss the same person.


So, for any relationship to survive, you have to have strong unaided recall in the mind of the other person. This will ensure that most of the things that they find important in lives have a memory associated with the other person.


Often stories are told about relationships that get nurtured without any sense of physical proximity. It can be a chance meeting over the world wide web, it can be a cross connection over the phone. It can remain the same if both parties agree, for it offers each of them a form of escape as you can paint a picture of who you are not, or who you would perhaps want to become.


However, if you want to develop it into something more than just virtual, you definitely need to meet the person and there is the issue. Expectations have got built up over time and you have painted a certain picture. Given the nature of human mind to exaggerate, you often end up painting a picture that is different from reality. So when you finally meet, you’ll never be able to make moments that ensure an immensely high percentage of Unaided Recall.


(Marketing enthusiasts please note that I am not talking of Top of Mind Awareness or TOMA, which in relationships happen only at the very outset or at maturity.)


The other day one of my favourite couples invited a few of us. They had been coupling for some time till their families also decided to entangle and get them married off. So like nice married couples, they keep inviting people to their home and make pani puris for people to gobble up. Now these are rituals. These are examples of how as they grow older they’ll not only increase their share of unaided recall but also their TOMA. I really am happy for them. On the other hand I know of couples who not only carry immense love and need for each other, but also enormous bitterness. I am not sure how they would end up.


At this point of time, P woke up from her slumber and said two extremely important things. First she said, “Can we please ask for the cheque?” and secondly she said, “Banjo! Thank God you are spending your life in office!!!” and shook her head exactly 5 and a half times and I am sure with a sigh.

21 comments:

Anamika said...

hey banjo.. am back after a week.. well i didn't remove my comment after revealing my identity.. you've replied to that comment also.. so check out properly.. i never remove comments once posted and i publish all comments no matter what in ma blog :)

Anamika said...

Again a post which you've linked with marketing concepts.. relationships and marketing... good one.. enjoyed this one after a week's enjoyment.. and my net is down.. commenting from my cousin's place... and I can see your loveeee for marketing in most of ur posts lol!!

NOw totally on different note........
if i intended to remove my comment after posting, I wouldn't have told you at all that I revealed my identity.. that too I told that I
ve revealed in recent posts... hmmmm...

Rahul said...

Dude.. not everything can be explained by MBA fundas.. leave logic and reason out and maybe then the theory would be closer to he truth ;)

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@ Anamika - I have two options now. A) let this remain a mystery and b) find out and read your blog.

I want to do both, so you choose when you comment next and I shall follow.

And thanks as usual

@ Rahul - If I consider that all that every single one amongst us does is to sell something, idea, product or even one self, then yes, Marketing fundaes can explain a lot. :)

Rahul said...

And Dalton says the atom is indivisible!

Anamika said...

Banjo.... take your own time and find out... :)

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@ Rahul - Dalton did not know about niche segmentation. :)

@anamika - as you "sow" so shall "mi" reap?

Anamika said...

Banjo......you found atlast???? and how is that???

sayrem said...

and oh!i deciphered the"enigma"too :D

Anamika said...

Ehm Ehm!! So how many out here deciphered the ENIGMA lols!! I've to decide the winner.. the person who deciphered in a shorter time period :D

Anamika said...

Banjo you had two options... Even now I didn't understand why you wanted to do both... why you wanted to remain this as a mystery??

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@ sayrem - Enigmas should be retained. We have so few surprises in life.

@ Anamika - I have loved mysteries since the days I read Blyton.

Anamika said...

Thats interesting... There is a surprise for you in my blog coming up..

Soumya Sen said...

You are always talking about love and romance and relationships! All I see around is lust, love is an illusion that human beings create to beautify and justify their lust, because they are always ashamed about the necessities associated with their physicality and are even apologetic about their very existence.

All one is capable of experiencing is 'liking', which arises out of a desire to possess or dominate, that is, lust. The word 'love' is therefore meaningless unless lust is recognized as its primordial component, and if such a recognition were to arise, the word 'love' itself becomes redundant. 'Romance' is now at best a bourgeoisie notion and has no purpose except for 'romanticizing' the already superfluous concept of 'love'. 'Relationship' has no meaning unless it is associated with morality, which in itself is a baseless notion created by religions for dominance over the masses. A complete destruction of middle-class morality, which by the way is of prime importance, will inevitably involve the destruction of all the three words. I am always amazed to see how radically different we are in our stands, you being romantic and I probably being a nihilist, for the lack of a better term. I think I will need to write something on my blog as a rebuttal to your perverse romanticism of everything :).

Sowmi said...

Banjo... whatever I've written about you is true right? lol!! well! thats what i observed in your blog.. I've been reading urs for 2 months now :)

Anonymous said...

you are nothing but a one armed bandit.

Nibedita said...

even if relationships don't materialize into the 'ultimate matrimonial ending' doesn't mean that its all bitterness thats left(for a while sure..but not forever..ever!), it just means that they were never meant to be together..they were just meant to have some good time together, thats all!!

Sweta Nandagiri said...

I dont know who 'P' is, but I would have reacted in the exact same manner.

Madhurjya (Banjo) said...

@ Soumya - it takes two different forces for keeping the atoms together, and thus the world. Will await your post.

@ Anon- One armed bandit???!!! me?

@ Nibedita - First of all, my post was on relationships beyond just conjugal matters :) Secondly 'ultimate matrimonial ending' is a society induced concept. Nature did not create marriage.

However, if I look at relationships from your perspective, I agree that not all have your 'ultimate' ending. What you say is the theory loved by humans who like to believe, "Que sera, sera" - extremely Richard Bach-ish :)

My simple point was to say you need constant reinforcements of commitment for any relationship (including non conjugal ones) to survive.

Hope I understood your point. And maybe, I'll write a post on it.

@ Sweta - of course you would have :)

Nibedita said...

I wasnt mentioning anything about conjugal relationships..all i wanted to say is..the relationships which dont end in matrimony, they dont always carry enormous amount of bitterness...not forever atleast!

I dont think marriage is the 'ultimate'..hehe!! I said that cos you made a comparison in your post about a couple who is now happily married to the rest who didnt end up like them :)

Will look fwd to your post.

CJ said...

please take me next time to ur favourite couple who makes pani puris for people to gobble up! :D